slowly but surely.
little by little.
inch by inch.

It seems like those phrases suit our life currently. But, I know it's not true! We've been working so hard... it's down to the last details.... like trim and the kitchen and one bathroom. Then.... THEN! I can move all our stuff in!

But, some days it feels like we're in slow motion. That the trash will never be completely picked up and the dust will forever settle on our wood floor. That the kitchen cabinets won't ever be delivered wholly unbroken. That the bathroom floor will always be plywood with specks of spackling all over it to stain our feet when we get done with our showers. That there will always be trim that needs painting...

Hallelujah! We're not in slow motion... even when we feel like we are. We're in fast motion... it's just blurring by. Summer's half gone.... and we haven't even made S'mores or caught lightening bugs!

Believe it or not, this week, in the midst of this blessed house, I'm full of longing. Not for the house to be finished or the dryer to be hooked ups so I can stop hanging my undies off the deck railing to dry. Not for clothes or food or time.

Just for the depths of my soul to be satisfied. I'm missing the hammock in the D.R. where God and I spent many EARLY morning hours waiting for groups to be ready to leave. I'm missing the feeling of getting my hands dirty for OTHER people, not just for Patrick and I. I'm longing for the secret desires of my heart to be fulfilled.

Satisfied.

Are we ever satisfied in this world? In America? We're always on the go... running around like chickens with our heads cut off... and it's all in vain most of the time!

I'm longing for a satisfaction that I know ONLY comes from Jesus. ONLY comes from communion with Him. And, I'm forgetting... no, neglecting to seek it. I pray.... sing crazy loud to Him. I try to do the right thing and love my neighbors.... even my enemies. But, I neglect those blessed moments I had in the hammock on an island so dear to me. I could find those moments here.... now.

What's holding me back? I don't need a hammock... or anything else... to seek Him.

I just need.... silence. stillness. sacrifice.

then the little by little won't seem to matter.
then the inch by inch won't feel so little.
then the slowly but surely won't be so costly.
then unfulfilled longings won't be so taxing.

I just need the satisfaction that comes from the throne of Jesus when I seek His face for each and every minute of my life. I just need Jesus. He satisfies. He lavishes grace and mercy. He makes me whole.