This bitter cold that we are experiencing, yet again, is seeping into my bones and camping out there. And, with it comes some thoughts about how the evil comes in to steal any warmth that Jesus is ready and willing to offer.

yes, I would really love some warm weather in which my bones and breath don't feel so frozen. It would be nice to run outside in green field of grass with my almost 2 year old yelling in delight.

But, I really cherish the warmth of Jesus in the spiritual life I am living. I have been in a battle lately... not a battle with flesh and blood, but a spiritual battle that leaves me feeling like I am in a frozen tundra if I let it.

Oh but God! He has secured us victory in Jesus! He has captured my soul in His grace and mercy and He fights for me. with me. through me. And, He brings the sacred, holy, beautiful warmth that my soul needs to thrive.

I have been reminded that when our souls feel barren, it is then we must step back and stop trying to do life alone. I have been reminded that it is here where Jesus must become greater as I let go of all I think I can handle. Some battles are borne out of consequences of sin and some just come. Some are just reminders of the reality that there is an invisible war being fought daily.

We forget that until we lack in our dying to self. Until we slack on our utter devotion to Jesus. Until the attacks become all too real and we fear we won't win.

AH! there it is!

fear!

there is no room for fear in this life we live for Jesus. Because, He says there is no fear in love. There is no fear in Jesus. There is confidence, victory, and an abundant life. My Jesus has won any battle that is thrown our way. My Jesus has forgiven time and time again. He has extended Grace and mercy. He has given freedom.

sweet, unending freedom.

if only we were smart enough, wise enough, to claim that freedom for ourselves. It means that in the bounds of living the holy life, we can experience the heart of Jesus in our walk with Him. And, I know that He wins and showers us with the warmth of His love.

Barrenness inside is not caused by a god who abandons, orphans, or fails. It is caused by me- stubborn me, choosing to forge ahead in this life on my own. stubborn me who thinks that this life is victoriously lived by my own strength. And, in that pitiful excuse for strength, the tundra comes. The cold seeps into the crevices of my heart, threatening to steal joy.

But it cannot. It never will. Because, Jesus provides a way out of our pathetic attempts at conquering. He provided a staircase to His power through my acceptance of His greatest gift to me.

In the dying of me, His power is made known through me. Anything good in my life, whether gifted or done with my hands or spoken with my voice, comes only from Jesus.

Darkness and cold and joylessness is a choice.

So, too, is Jesus.

I choose Jesus. to conquer the cold of lonely living. to conquer the schemes of Satan. to conquer the joy stealing incompetence of my own being. and to bring joy, unending. unchanging. unfailing.

thank you, sweet Jesus. I have tasted the goodness of Your law and found it to be better than anything that this life could ever offer me.

i have tasted.

i have seen.

i am humbly Your servant. Less of myself leads me to the greatness of You.

In that greatness, I find all the warmth my soul needs.