it's been a while. and in that long while we've had a first birthday party for our Pixie-girl, family came in for 2.5 weeks to visit, and my brother got married to our new sister!!! It's been wild and crazy and busy and summer is going faster than I want it to!


*****


It's funny where life takes you. where our choices take us. where circumstances take us. In the past four years, I've been married, became a house owner, and had a baby. There have been struggles, and there has been tremendous joy. I'm so thankful for it all.


Let's be real. Sometimes I loose focus of Jesus. Not like, I don't believe in Him or that I even forget Him. But, I try to fill my heart with my husband or my little Pixie or my family or my friends or ... just other "stuff." Then, I hit the inevitable wall that doesn't allow for those things to continue filling me completely.


It's because they don't.


It's because only Jesus can fill what's unfillable by the imperfect.


I'm so glad. But, it's hard work. It's hard to sit back and assess life and see all the places that I've put other people in God's role of filling me up! I'm working on being satisfied with only Jesus. He alone can ease any loneliness, any longing, any need to be encouraged or fed or lifted up.


Oh I am so thankful that an INFALLIBLE God can take all the emptiness and fill it! I'm so thankful I have Jesus. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit's work in my life. Without Him, I would be nothing.


I'm so glad Jesus takes my nothingness and turns it into something usable for Him. I'm so glad that He loved me first, and, not only that He loved me first, but that I have a chance to love Him back!


so, to Jesus, the Filler, the Lover, the Completer, the Healer, the JOY. I love You. I'm Yours. Fill me. Use me. Change me, so that I never stop singing about how GOOD You are.